


Full Circle

by yourboyfriendisawhatnow



Series: Human Nature [5]
Category: Criminal Minds (US TV)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-19
Updated: 2018-05-19
Packaged: 2019-05-09 01:23:57
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 781
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14706465
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yourboyfriendisawhatnow/pseuds/yourboyfriendisawhatnow
Summary: Ashley visits Justin.





	Full Circle

_October 15th, 2015_

Ashley never knew how far the walk to the cemetery was until she decided to walk every week. She remembered walking every week to the cemetery years before, Justin clutching her hand as they visited their parents’ graves. After some time, it became easier to not go. It fell out of tradition. Not this time. Ashley was determined to never leave Justin alone after she heard about his death in the basement of his horrible dealer’s house. He must have been so cold, she thought to herself, shivering as a strong breeze rushed through the air.

By the time she had reached the correct grave, the sun had already begun rising. She took a seat down next to him and settled in. she inhaled as much air as her lungs could hold and let it out in a low whistle.

“Hey, Justin,” Ashley began. “I’ve had a busy week. Guess what happened?” She waited before continuing. “I met someone the other day. His name is Spencer. We met at work, at my new job in D.C.” She sighed lovingly. “You’d love him. We went out on a date last week.” The silence was almost deafening. Ashley felt her pulse race and she took some calming breaths.

She grimaced and placed her hand on the stone marker, letting the invisible electricity travel through every nerve in her body. She began again.

“I’m sorry. I know you want me to be strong right now, but I can’t lie to you. These past couple months have been – ” She was cut off by a sob that escaped her throat. She managed to compose herself and continued again. “It’s been unbearable. I can’t keep anything down. It’s all because of you, Justin.” She gasped angrily, taking short breaths. “You did this to yourself. If you had just let me help you all those years ago, then we wouldn’t be in this mess right now. You had to go and mess up your whole life, and for what? Pain pills? That’s the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard!”

Ashley shivered again. She ducked her head, upset at her outburst. “I’m sorry,” she continued. “Forgive me. I just miss you so much.” She wiped tears from her eyes as they fell freely. “I should have been harder with you. I should have pushed you more. But it doesn’t matter now. What’s done is done. You’re gone. There’s nothing I can do about it. I just wish that you knew how much I miss you. You were my only close friend. And then you started pulling away from me, and I couldn’t handle it.” She raised her head as a realization hit her. “Is this because of me? Did I push you to get into this mess?” Ashley jumped up from her seat next to where her brother rested. She frantically shook her head, pacing back and forth, wiping the flowing tears. She fell to her knees and slapped her hands to her face. “I’m so sorry, Justin!” she cried, rocking back and forth. “Just come back to me. Tell me this was all a dream. I’ll do anything for you to come back. Just come back. Please.”

She longed for something to happen, some sign that this was a dream. But there was nothing. There was only silence. Ashley stood up and dabbed her eyes. She shook her head and blew a long breath out while rolling her neck. The silence threatened to consume Ashley as she tried to convince herself of her innocence in her brother’s death. Once she had established the idea in her mind, she was able to move again. The walk back to the apartment was lonely; it always was when she left the cemetery.

By the time she had reached the apartment, her tears had stopped. She entered her apartment and went directly to the one room that she had been convinced that she would never open. She turned slowly, taking in the sights of the room. It hadn’t changed since Justin had left it for the last time. The radio was stacked with CDs, but she didn’t look at them. She couldn’t hear the music again. It was too painful. Instead she walked over to his desk, where a small picture frame had been moved from its familiar spot near the key bowl into his room. She smiled a watery smile as she looked at the last happy picture her family had taken.

The rest of her night was spent staring at that picture. She couldn’t help herself. The image was too powerful, too captivating. Ashley fell asleep next to her whole family for the first time in years.


End file.
